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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Decaffeinated Coffee is a Rip-Off!

I'm writing this because I can no longer stay awake at night! All the coffee in my house is decaffeinated and decaffeinated coffee doesn't get you high and keep you awake.

I'm still trying to understand the reason companies produce Decaffeinated Coffee because I think it's no longer Coffee if there's no Caffeine. Like it's not a blog without a blog post!

Imagine the following scenarios:

Coke without the Carbonate that makes it fizzy.

Ice Cream without Ice or the Cream.

Computers without processors. I wonder if they'll still call them computers.

Phones that cannot make calls. So they'll change the definition of a phone then?

Books with blank pages. Yes, they'll still have attractive covers, but you'll have to buy it for the code so you can download it online!

Watches that don't tell time. They'll still be watches after all, because you'll 'watch' them wouldn't you?

TV without images! I'll just buy a radio then.

Carbohydrates. Basically these are the new Carbohydrates but they do not contain Carbon and Hydrogen at all. So why do you call them Carbohydrates?

Calenders without dates. They'll just have lovely pictures on them. But you can check the date on your phone can't you?

Football without footballers or a ball. Yes! Your favorite footballers will have to be the best FIFA or Pro Evo players around. You'll watch via satellite broadcast on your TV without images…..Oh it'll be called listening.

Computers without monitors. So now you'll have to imagine what is going on in your computer in order to increase human imagination.

A new sky. The sky under the sun has too more UV rays anyway, so we'll have a new blue blanket that changes colour and there'll be no more acid rain.

Blades that don't cut. We're trying to save young children's lives so the blades are just for fun. Why don't you just take the blade away from the children then?

Houses without windows and doors. We want you to enjoy what it feels like to be in the outdoors. We also want you to go back and live in the Stone Age!

No more sex and no more kids! Let's face it! Sex causes too much problems for the human race. So now you buy online kids from extremelycatchywebsitename and you wake up, sit at your no-screen computer and try to bath your kids, get them ready for school, drop them off, pick them up from school, feed them dinner and read them a book till they fall asleep!

I WANT MY CAFFEINATED COFFEE BACK! By the way, does anyone have an alternative and legal stuff to keep me awake?

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