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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I Might Buy My First Car On The Road!



If you live in Lagos, you occasionally always go through traffic. In fact Lagos traffic is included in almost all the modern(2000 till date) songs about Lagos. Traffic has become synonymous with Lagos. Even with Lastma's efforts, Lagos = Traffic and Traffic = Lagos.


I suddenly realized one day, the amount of things I could do in traffic. Not because of the time spent in traffic, but the variety of things sold in traffic.


WARNING: This is highly imaginative and fictional.


I'll wake up one morning and jump into Ikorodu Road Traffic. Shouting "Nescafe!" will get me a hot disposable cup of coffee and I can buy 2 rolls of Gala to fill me up for breakfast. Not knowing what's going on in the news, I buy THE PUNCH, still sipping on my coffee, I see someone selling TOP GEAR on the right side of my car. I buy that and EBONY too because the picture of Al Sharpton is just too striking for me not to buy it. Moving on there's a guy selling Audio and Video CD's. Nothing is playing on the danfo radio, so I buy MI's Talk About It and pass it on to the Driver. We're bumping to Anoti in traffic. Now how cool is that.


Now Some guy is saying "oga, you wan buy?" and It's Obama's Audacity of Hope. I can't resist, I mean I've read DREAMS FROM MY FATHER but not AUDACITY OF HOPE. So I buy that too and now there are beggars all over me so I have to give some money away.


Damn! Its so hot today I think I need to buy shades. So I'm doing "pssst" like 3 times and the shades guy is running over. I buy a fake Gucci for 500 bucks and I'm feeling cool with myself.


I get to my office to do some work and by 12 noon, I need to do 'marketing' so I'm on the road again.

Thinking about it I've not tasted that new FanVanille thing they just launched. So I buy one and 2 rolls of Gala. Let's face it Gala always fills you up. I try calling my boss and it turns out I've exhausted my credit. Shouting "MTN" and he's running so fast I'm scared an okada will kill this guy. So I buy a 750 recharge card and I get through to my boss.


I suddenly see a guy selling Rechargeable lamps and Portable DVDs. I call him over yelling "pssst" again (I wonder if that's possible) and I don't want the Portable DVD. I actually need another Rechargeable Lamp because the one in my house recently stopped working. In fact! as far as I can remember I've been buying rechargeable lamps since JS1.


There's a guy in a purple shirt walking up to me selling phones and I yell "starcomms!". The phones are not only cheap, the calls are cheap too. I buy the one that doesn't ask me any questions (My friend has this phone WhoAreWe and there's WhoAreYou and HowAreYou). I am finally getting to my marketing place and what I see is unbelievable! Nike sneakers on sale for 2500. So I get down (I believe 'alight' is a better word but this is Lagos) and I try a pair on and they're my size. So I'm jugging to the marketing place now (I'll change my shoes there) because this Adeola Odeku traffic is killing meeeee.


Aaaargh! I'm thirsty plus I'm wearing an HP laptop-backpack kind of bag (Which I bought at that junction near Maryland last week). I spot a drink seller so I quickly gulp down a bottle of Coke (aaah so refreshing) and I'm jugging again. Thank God I'm not wearing my suit today.


I finally get to my marketing place and I'm super shocked! Somebody Slap me!


There's a row of cars with 'For Sale' Stickers on them. There are Corollas, Camrys, Baby Boys, End of Discussions and the new RAV 4. I'm thinking there's another GLO promo going on but the guy in the front car tells me he already sold 6 cars on the road today.


The deal we make is so good I hurriedly bring out my check and sign at the bottom and the top. I have a new Ride…at least now I don't have to enter Danfos again….THANK YOU JESUS. I'm giving a testimony on Sunday


Damn! I forgot to check out that guy selling Laptops ooooh. I have to do that tomorrow morning in Ikorodu Road traffic.


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