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Saturday, May 15, 2010

A-Z of Lagos vocabulary




A – Agbero. Anyone collecting money from Danfo drivers for no apparent reason. I guess this definition includes policemen...hmh.....


B - BRT – Bus Rapid Transport. Another laudable Fashola invention. BRT drivers are the kings of the road. Even with a lane to themselves, they feel the need to drive out of their lanes. Plus they blare their horns like elephant trumpets.


C - Conductor – Anybody shouting the name of any place. E.g. "Oshodi,Oshodi"


D – Danfo – The yellow buses with black stripes. Quick Tip: If your car gets hit by a danfo driver (it certainly will) just drive on like nothing happened.


E – Eko – Generally referring to Lagos or the Marina


F – Fashola. The one and only governor of Lagos State. Eko o ni baje oooh.


G – Galleria. The Silverbird Galleria. The chill spot for every teenager aged 13 -21 with money to waste.


H – H Factor. The prefix to every vowel starting word. As pronounced by the Yoruba man. Or woman.


I – Island. Referring to the Marina, Victoria Island and Ikoyi.


J – JJC. Short for Johnny Just Come. This is what we call all repats and expats.


K – Keke Napep or Keke Marwa. The small yellow tricycles capable of being rolled over by a finger.


L – LASTMA. Lagos State Transport Management Agency. You want to keep your doors locked when
you're nearing that junction. They've really helped the traffic situation though.


M – Maryland. The only spot I know of in the world with 24hours traffic.


N – NEPA. Nigerian Electric Power Authority. Even with the change of name, the services remain the same. So we still call them NEPA and shout: UPNEPA!


O –Okada. This is the sure way to beat traffic and die fast.


P – Police. The Nigerian Police Force. Even after checkpoints were banned in the newspapers, The officers
of the NPF still collect 20 naira from Danfo drivers. They can't deny it because I have pictures.


Q –

R –

S –

T- Traffic. An essential Characteristic of Lagos. You might want to read my post: "I might buy my first car on the road!"


U – University of Lagos. My friend Said: "Where sugar daddies make their pick"


V – VIO. The Vehicle Inspection Office. I'm not allowing any scruffy looking government official into my car!


W – Were. Pronounced: WayRay. Once you've been called Were its either you've done something wrong or there's a Danfo driver behind your car


X –


Y – Yaba Left. On the left side of Yaba lies the psychiatric ward. I have been advised to go there several times but I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. PSYCHE!


Z - Zain. Formerly known as Celtel, Vodafone, V-mobile, Econet. I hear they're about to change the name again.


Please help me fill the appropriate words for the blank letters in the comment section. Sometimes I just don't know what to type.

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