This is where my thoughts go.....You're reading my mind!

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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

An Untitled Comedy by Olutunu Oyelola

Tunu wrote a funny play and she's given me permission to reproduce part of it. It's a short play about... no, read it. 

You can read and download the full play here. Checkout her Blog, The Wedding Addict, The Love Cynic & The Hopeless Romantic She also recently got published on ThoughtCatalog. 

I hereby dedicate this play to all the yellow Igbo girls that like me. Or not. 

Kamsi and Ekene are seated on the stage when the play begins. They are washing clothes in a stream. There is banter and laughter.

K: The exams were not a joke my sister. Ah! I read and read till my clothes were unable to fit me properly again. (Pointing at her collar bones) Look at my neck! See. Bone everywhere. (Gesturing to her bottom) I already don’t have bom-bom; I will now be looking dry like crayfish.

E: (Laughing) You will not kill me Kamisiyokosiyem! Is exam ever that serious? I did not even stress myself o. One nice boy in my class offered to give me expo and who am I to turn down such an offer? (Smiles coyly)

K: Of course! You see am? (Claps hands) Abeg, no talk to me again! (In mock annoyance) It is that serious for me o. Me, I don’t look like you, so I cannot afford to wait for boy to offer my examination to me on a platter of gold. When you look like me, and you have no body at all like me, you will understand that exam is that serious.

E: Oya! Oya, no vex. Ahn ahn. See as you just switch. Is it not you again? (Nudging her jokingly) Efiko mama! The WAEC markers will not even know what hit them! (Gets up to demonstrate) When all the A1s come out now, you will be doing yanga all around the village o! Neni will not hear word. In fact, the whole of Anambra will not hear word!

K: Ah! Of course o! Maybe I will even beg the Igwe to send the town criers out and call the whole village to the market square. (Laughing) You, you don’t understand. You’re used to the word of your beauty travelling the villages; my ticket to fame has finally come! I must use it o! Maybe book will find me husband!

(Both laugh very hard)

Click Here To Continue Reading And Download. Don't forget Tunu's Blog, The Wedding Addict, The Love Cynic & The Hopeless Romantic and her ThoughtCatalog post.